Paul attended his first ECC event at High Close in 2024. Despite his initial anxieties, he had a very positive and uplifting experience, and wanted to share it with other would-be newcomers.

 

As a young gay of merely 37 years of age, I was initially reluctant and intimidated by the prospect of spending a week with 54 mostly older gay men.

I've got my issues with men and I was worried that I might find the experience stressful and too challenging. I brought up my concerns with one of the ECC reps on Discord who kindly listened to me and reassured me that all would be well.

Comforted by his words, I paid for the rest of the holiday and my place was secured.

On arriving, I was greeted with friendly faces, a quick Covid test and then my name tag. The other men there were eager to get to know one another and the impenetrable cliques I feared didn't materialise.

Although most had attended an ECC event before, the membership is large enough that there is a mix of men who don't know one another, as well as the occasional newbie.

The structure of the week and the way ECC is managed ensures that there isn't a sense of hierarchy. I was treated as an equal, despite my newbie status. The community we created for that short period of time was supportive, kind and understanding. Through the "user generated" workshops and heart circles / base groups, a culture of kindness emerged where we all had the space to be our authentic selves, letting go of hang ups from the outside world.

As many have said, it is difficult to explain exactly what an ECC gay men's week is like, you need to experience it to understand it. But what I would say is that a group of 54 scary looking men turned very quickly into a tribe of brothers, friends and a support network, most of whom I knew by name at the end of the week.

I went to the Lake District looking for connection and I left having made friends and experienced a sense of brotherhood which I didn't know I needed.